Freebirds Stories
Are we cursed by our fears?

Are we missing the magic of being alive, trapped in our fears of what could happen, what other people think of us, or what we’re missing out on. If we actually observed we would realise that most of our behaviours are created by fears. Our fears are unconsciously absorbed from the society, environment and media around us. The society means the immediate people around us, who we interact with everyday, that is the society you live in. The media is the internet, television, advertisements, etc that we encounter everyday. Have we allowed ourselves to be influenced and conditioned into a mindset, that can make us feel negative or stressed? To understand we need to ask questions without believing in anything, approaching it with a fresh mind- unclouded by any bias. What’s a bias? In the simplest of words, our tendency to hold on to, what we believe in. If we observe carefully without being biased to our beliefs, we could see our everyday actions, the actions of people around us, the actions on social media, internet, schools and various other things are deeply-deeply rooted in fear. Why do we have a bias are we cursed by fear to be in fear? The world can feel noisy sometimes. It feels like we’re all trying to reach somewhere and do something, but it all gets so confusing. If you researched on current biggest problems in the world, you would find results about global warming, rising coronavirus cases, political cold wars and economic wars between countries, rising depression rates, homeless refugees, discrimination and many more. These problems are extremely disastrous problems but can we see the root cause of them? They all include humans and interaction between humans. Our erratic human behaviours cause problems. Not all human behaviour causes problems but especially behaviours that result from fear, causes problems. How often do we take a moment to pause and reflect? Just be in the moment, observing the environment with the realisation that we are alive. It may feel like a boring task, there are more interesting things to do, I bet? Or, are we just taking that facts for granted. How? how is this possible? Observe, the fear of dying, fear of doing something wrong, fear of hurting someone, fear of being hurt, fear of losing your job, fear of being alone, fear of someone achieving more than you, fear of being left behind, fear of doing something others consider wrong, fear of being different in a way no one approves, fear of being put down, fear of being left behind or left out, and so on. We have fears. All of us do, the amount of fear we have can be extreme leading to anxiety disorders or moderate that keeps us in the same negative situations and makes us close-minded. Fear is deep rooted in our cognitive psychology, which means, our brain’s cognitive behaviours like thinking, problem-solving, decision making, communicating, etc all are rooted in fear. That is fact, it is as factual as that i am a girl, the fact that you are reading this sentence. Being defensive of one’s beliefs and not being open to what the other person is writing is fear. Being aggressive and persuading others you are right is fear. We are always afraid. If one was afraid of something, one could convince anyone else to be afraid of it. If one was giving an exam and everyone around was stressed about the result, one would start feeling afraid as well. If one heard news about a close relative or a story about someone’s bad experience with something, one is likely to absorb the fear and change their behaviour. Fear is not bad. It is important, but only functionally. If we weren’t afraid of fire, we would burn ourselves. If we weren’t afraid of getting hit by a car or hitting someone with a car, the road would be a very dangerous place. If we weren’t afraid of disrespecting someone, we would always speak harshly and cruelly, but if we become obsessed by fears, trapped inside of them, there is a lot of conflict and struggle which destroys the whole zest of life and being alive. If one person doubts, the fear spreads, which is why we need to be able to critically analyse information to see what is someone’s strong opinion and what is the fact. Fear was necessary to our ancestors in the stone age, the more fear the better your chance of survival. Being afraid of anything enabled our ancestors to always be ready to Flee or Fight instantaneously. Today is different. The stone age ended between 100 to 40 centuries ago! Are we stuck in noise? Our environment has changed, but the structure and working mechanics of our brains are extremely similar to our ancestors in the stone age. Modern archeology proves this. There is a catch, though. If we can learn, our brain grows and evolves. There is a beautiful quote I came across; Learning is like breathing — it’s a part of life. Make learning like breathing, test the information you know, don’t be trapped in fear because of anything, no traumatic event is a good excuse to destroy our life. If we want to continue living in our fears, we can. That means we can forget how beautiful the world is, we are free to not appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. We are encircled by so many colours, so much life, and yet we can spend most days inside, sulking about pointless material things, instead of making the most of a beautiful day. Our life is happening right now. Life won’t start the day we finish school, travel to another country, meet prince charming or cinderella, it is happening right now in this moment and are we going to live it? We are free to do what we want. Repeated choices to stay in an uncomfortable situation due to fear, is a choice. We can do anything but know that some things in life don’t work out the way we want them to. At times, things seem unfair and we feel like there’s no way we can overcome them, but that’s life! Life is filled with problems, it’s filled with conflict, it’s filled with pain and diversity, and that’s life. Shit happens and you are free to get sulky about it or say whatever happens, happens! I’ll deal with problems as they come. The bliss of being alive is felt when one lets go of all the fears that trap one, by being intensely aware of them. Embrace all emotions and vibes of being alive and just chill! Feelings are like clouds in a windy sky, the come and go. Fear is the bird who tries to hold on to the cloud and feel it again. Fear locks you in illusions and beliefs. The fearful bird who tries to hold on to the feelings of the cloud is anxious and insecure. If the bird lets the cloud go and lives in the moment, lives in the breath without holding on to things, being open to new experiences, open to the fact that we can be wrong, the bird is free to explore all colours the sky offers. We all have different reasons for forgetting to learn which is as important as breathe. Some of us hold on to beliefs, some of us believe we are wrong and at false, some of us don’t take action and regret later. It’s part of life to feel shitty and to feel ecstatic. Only one thing cannot happen all the time. A quote from Peter Pan : “There is a saying in the Neverland that, every time you breathe, a grown-up dies.” — James Barrie When he says the grown-up dies, he means that when you breathe of the moment, feeling the “peace of the now”, just enjoying like a child with his friends in a playground. The grown-up, the one who symbolises all the worries, pain, fear, responsibilities dies and the child of wonder and playfulness is then free. We are all children, some of us have lived long enough to look older and call ourselves adults or teenagers but we all long to have fun and enjoy, if we didn’t movies would be out of business. Seriously, we are alive! What could be a bigger miracle? who knows how the universe was created, how all of evolution resulted in this moment of us being alive, its miraculous!! Science explains the math behind it all, which bedazzles me, but see the magic of it, the mystery, there is still so so so much we don’t know. We still chase after endless desires and wants, but we could just be alive in the universe, we don’t need to justify our existence with achievement. Being alive is free, but the functionality requires us to earn money, so earn money, do what needs to be done but do what you love to do as well. Be with with beautiful people, do beautiful things and be in beautiful places. Sadness and joy or two sides that make up the same coin. If we go back to the biggest problems we think we have, with love and compassion, we won’t think of the person in front of us as a rival, but just another person going about one’s life, we won’t be racist or sexist. We would care for the environment. We wouldn’t force others how to live. We would be more emotionally smart, if we could let go of our fears in the light of intense awareness, accept that we can be wrong and allow others to be the way they want to be, this creates compassion and love within us, and just be grateful. Our unnecessary goals and great desires vanish and we live to do what we love, after that, whatever happens, happens!! I hope I could share something valuable, that give you meaningful insights and realise something to brighten up your life and make you more lively and alive! “Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating” — Charlotte Ericksson With lots of love, Joyce Ahuja PS: Recommending an article about the beautiful things in life and an amazing instagram post ;) lol

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